Whew! The last week of April in NYC has been an intense one. I’ve overcome a few fears: standing in Times Square barefoot, getting yoga photographed by Robert Sturman, and building myself this web site. It’s all thanks to a pretty transformative week I had with Justin Williams and Karen Mozes at the Yoga Business Retreat.
After three and a half years moonlighting as a yoga instructor, I am finally stepping into teaching yoga full time. A part of stepping into that has been overcoming my fear of having a web presence. I spent last week teasing apart my resistance to building a web site for myself. I’m talking a jaw-gritting, fist-clenching, bratty kind of resistance. Where was this coming from?
Last week I would have wanted to tell you that it’s because I am an introvert. I would have wanted to defend my opposition because promoting myself online doesn’t align with my core values. “The Web creates isolation and disconnection. Yoga is about freedom and connection.”
Luckily I’m pretty good at calling myself out on my own B.S. most of the time.
After meditating on it a lot, I’m trying out this heartfelt truth: I have a fear of being public, of transparency, of being vulnerable. I’m afraid of commitment. I’m afraid of stepping fully into this new role because of the doors it will close but maybe also because of what doors it will open. For introverts like me anonymity can feel like a really safe place. But safe is boring and by hiding and making ourselves small, we do a disservice to the world.
I’m reminded of Marianne Williamson:
...Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do...as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
So I step into this process with the promise that I'll teach from my truth. Especially if that makes me vulnerable. This week something shifted in me. I chose to change the discourse. If yoga for me means service and connection then building a web site is absolutely an opportunity for connection and service.
This site isn’t for me. It’s for YOU. It's my commitment to you, just another avenue for me to bring more yoga and healing into your life, and keep you up to date on my class schedule, retreats, and workshops. In celebration of that I invite you all to connect with me and step into your own light. I’ll be leading a FREE yoga session in Ft. Greene Park this Saturday, May 10, at 9:15am. Enter at Dekalb and Washington Park Street. We'll be west of the playground.
Much love + light,